SURVIVOR CHRISTMAS

Today I am celebrating my first Christmas as a cancer survivor. Beyond the hustle and busy schedule, I can actually see some little but meaningful changes in me.

For one, I have a better appreciation for family gatherings. Preparing for dinners and parties are no longer an obligation in order to make everyone happy. I must say that now I can actually enjoy these get-togethers for what they are meant to be: time to catch up on each other’s lives and to bond.

Secondly, It’s easier to buy gifts now without fretting over the price tag. Saving up for a rainy day is no longer my number one mantra. Although I must say that I have spent quite a fortune this year on my treatment, the fear of lack is no longer controlling me.

Third, I think I really am a much more generous person now. Truth be told, I used to give gifts as payback for services received or as plain tradition. Now, I just enjoy giving, period.

What was once a stressful series of family and community events have become for me a wonderful time to share, give and love.

Merry Christmas to me!

A CHRISTMAS FAREWELL

So long, my friend.

I know that throughout all of my life, I have shared many Christmas memories with you. But this time, I must say, I have to let go of you. I’m sorry to say that cancer has forced me to make this painful decision, but we both know it’s for the best.

I can’t begin to imagine enjoying Christmas dinner without you on my plate but I have to be satisfied with fruits and vegetables this time.

I will miss your crispy skin and tender ribs, not to mention your liver sauce.

I do hope that somewhere down the road, I can celebrate Christmas with you again.

FUN AGAIN

Most of today was spent watching my daughter play volleyball with the high school varsity. As I watched her move agilely across the court, two things struck me:

First, I realized that 25 years ago, I was at the very same stadium, in the very same competition, playing the very same game with my high school team.

The combination of nostalgia and pride was great food for my soul.

Second, she seems to be more carefree these days. She no longer looks over her shoulder every few minutes just to check if I'm okay.

She is having fun again.

I don't exactly know why but these two thoughts really made me happy. My relationship with her has never been better because of what we have just gone through as a family.

ANOTHER DOCTOR'S VISIT

I had another visit with my oncologist today. Before going up to her office, I saw one of my co-survivors waiting in her jeep because she could not go up the flight of stairs. She was waiting for the doctor to just check her right there in the parking lot. I found out later that her cancer had already spread to her bones and the metastasis was causing her spinal column to be compacted. She could not yet afford the medication for metastasis that I am also taking, so they are trying to buy time.

I waited for my turn in the lobby, saddened that she could not afford the treatment but thankful that I could. I must really say that I am really blessed to be able to afford all the medications I have had to take, without any insurance at that. This got me to thinking that someday I hope to be in a position to help other cancer patients who have no money to pay for their treatments.

A few minutes after my oncologist finally arrived in her clinic, I was called in. She did the routine check on my collarbone and breast area for possible new growths. We also discussed the need for me to have the mastectomy of my remaining breast and the hysterectomy in February, at the latest. She checked my blood tests and other laboratory results. So far, I'm clear til the next visit.

Well, that is that.

TWO ROUNDS WITH XELODA

Tomorrow, I will complete my second cycle of Xeloda. The instructions from my oncologist say that I must take two tablets of it, an hour after eating breakfast and another two after dinner.

I'm getting the hang of planning my meals around it, and around the other medications I have to take.

After being more vigilant about my physical condition this past year, I can pick up the side effects that are already silently creeping in.

I am becoming more easily fatigued.

Occasionally, I wake up to tingling and numbness on my fingertips. At least, I do not have the more severe symptoms: peeling, blisters, and swelling...yet.

Sometimes, when I stand up I am overcome by dizziness and a pounding heartbeat.

Will it get better, or will it get worse? I don't know.

FAREWELL, MY FRIEND

I received a text message today to inform me that one of my co-survivors in our support group has succumbed to breast cancer. I was just talking to her last week, when we were both waiting for our turn in our oncologist's clinic. She was telling me during our short time together that everytime she thinks of giving up, she changes her mind when she thinks of me.

This is the first time that someone I had walked with in the months of my treatment has passed away. It is a very sobering and saddening thought.

Farewell, Gemma, we will really miss your generous smile. You fought the good fight. Please intercede for us who remain here. See you, my friend.

DULCE'S LAST DANCE

Today's headlines was quite a shocker.

In the early hours of Wednesday morning, a dumptruck passed a red light in one of the intersections of Manila and rammed into a family van, killing one and injuring three others. The most prominent passenger of the family van was Senator Rene Saguisag, a controversial political figure in our country, lawyer of deposed Former President Joseph Estrada.

But, no, his presence in the accident was not what shook me. It was the fact that his wife, Dulce, also a prominent political figure, was the lone fatality. She was a ten-year breast cancer survivor.

How can one begin to find meaning in such a tragedy? Here was a woman who had fought hard to rise above the ravages of breast cancer for ten years, only to die in a tragic road mishap. It appears so senseless. Her son was supposed to get married next month.

I remember the night before I checked into the hospital for my biopsy last January, my 16-year old son had told me at the dinner table: You have to make it, Ma, because I need you to be with me on my wedding day.

The promise I gave my son that night has, on many days, kept me going. During the times when I need to find a vision to focus on, I think of being around when my children celebrate their important moments. That is why I am so sad that Mrs. Saguisag will miss that milestone in her son's life.

The mysteries of life indeed.

In the over-all scheme of life, and death, apparently we are all made equal. If anything, this incident only reiterates to me that the question we should ask should not be how long we live but how well we live each day that is given to us.

The manner of Dulce Saguisag’s death showed the lengths she would go to protect her husband, according to their eldest son, Rene “Rebo” Saguisag Jr.

“As you can see from what happened, she absorbed everything to save my father,” the 35-year-old lawyer told the Philippine Daily Inquirer, parent company of INQUIRER.net. “By and large, that’s how their relationship was.”Partners even on the ballroom floor, Rene and Dulce Saguisag were married for more than 30 years.

“Rene will be lost without Dulce. That’s their relationship,” said Sen. Joker Arroyo, a longtime friend of the couple.

(Quoted from "She Saved the Last Dance for Him" by DJ Yap, Tarra Quismundo)

CHRISTA'S PHOTO

Today marks the end of my first cycle of oral chemotherapy for metastatic cancer. Although there are no signs of any recurrence, my oncologist has recommended that I undergo this regimen because of the high grade and stage of my breast cancer.

After completing the prescribed six cycles in a few months, my oncologist recommends that I have a complete mastectomy.

This issue about the mastectomy has been cropping up time and again because my doctors could not seem to agree on the option that I should take. Two conservative doctors say that I should wait a while. The aggressive ones say that I should have done it yesterday.

Truth be told, I was having issues about the mastectomy for a while but while surfing through the internet a few days ago, I found this amazing photo that really struck me. It speaks volumes on hope, self-worth and inner joy.

Christa Slotbloom is a breast cancer survivor who continues to chronicle her journey through eloquent and honest photographs.

Seeing her photos have changed my perspective entirely on a lot of things.

TOUCHING VIDEO

This amazing video commercial for the featured cancer foundation never fails to bring me to tears.

BREAST CANCER AROUND THE WORLD

According to this Time magazine feature, the Philippines Age-Standardized Rate per 100,000 is 46.6.

SECOND ROUND

Today, I begin my new chemotherapy regimen.

It will be primarily anchored on Xeloda, a drug that is intended for cancer that has metastasized to the bone. The whole regimen will cover eighteen weeks consisting of six cycles, a whole spectrum of drugs and vitamins. According to my oncologist, because of the characteristics of my cancer, lobular carcinoma, she has to apply treatment on the cellular level. She is thinking that my cancer must have began ten to fifteen years ago.

I am a little wary of the side effects that are bound to come, but over all, I feel good that I am doing something to control the situation.

This new treatment is preventive in nature, to eliminate further any chance of a spread of the cancer to my bones. I like the idea that we are being aggressive in covering all possible avenues to ensure that any wayward cancer cell hiding within my body will be targeted and that cancer will not come back.

Just like anything in life, there are two options that I can take in my cancer fight: conservative or aggressive. After all these years, I have now found out that it actually feels good to be aggressive.

I am worked up and eager for the next round.

I am in faith that I am steadily moving towards a cancer knock-out.

ON STRESS AND BREAST CANCER RISK

I found this interesting article in the internet today. I am aware that medical practitioners and researchers have always raised an eyebrow towards the claim that stress can contribute to breast cancer risk. However, my own instinct and intuition tells me that stress did play a big part in the development of my cancer.

I could not totally erase from my mind that on March 2006, biopsy results on my two-centimeter or so lump stated that it was benign. Regretfully I wasn't able to have the lump immediately removed because of the subsequent events in my life which culminated in the hospitalization and tragic death of my mother. Ten months after, my lump had grown to six centimeters and had developed into Stage 3 cancer.

STUDY LINKS STRESS TO THE RISK OF BREAST CANCER
by Clair Weaver


STRESSED career women may be at higher risk of developing breast cancer, according to new research.

Those working in the most high-pressure jobs have been found to be 30 per cent more likely to be diagnosed with the disease, which is the biggest female cancer killer among Australian women.

A study of more than 36,000 women, published in the journal Epidemiology this month, reveals a link between workplace stress and heightened breast cancer risk.

The finding is controversial, as past research and doctors have ruled out stress as a significant risk factor.

"Women with both low job control and high job demands had higher risk of breast cancer than women with high job control and low demands," the study found.

Breast cancer is on the rise in Australia, affecting more than 11,700 women a year and killing 2600, but survival and detection are also improving.

Sue Carrick, head of research strategy at the National Breast Cancer Foundation, said it was difficult to measure and compare stress levels.

"What is important to note is that although we have a much greater understanding of some risk factors for breast cancer, we still do not understand the causes of the majority of breast cancers," she said.

She said the biggest known risk factors were getting older, with the disease peaking in women aged 45 to 69, being overweight, post-menopause and drinking four or more standard drinks a day.

Hormone replacement therapy, having children later in life or not at all and a family history have also been identified as risk factors.

To mark the start of Breast Cancer Month, the foundation has announced $10 million in funding to go towards finding better treatments for women with advanced breast cancer.

The Job Strain And Risk Of Breast Cancer study found no increased risk in women who worked part-time. It has been suggested stress may raise levels of estrogen, which can boost the risk of hormone-dependent breast cancer.

Sydneysider Amanda Maltabarow, 49, was in a high-powered marketing job when she was diagnosed with invasive breast cancer five years ago.

She has been taking the drug Tamoxifen since having a breast, ovaries and lymph nodes removed.

"I definitely think stress was a contributing factor," she said.

"I was a mum, I had a career, I was saying yes to everything, trying to be a corporate wife and splitting myself in 50 ways – I never relaxed and just enjoyed my life and family."

A TRIBUTE TO THE PINK LADIES

Last weekend, I joined my first breast cancer walk as a breast cancer survivor. The walk was a gathering of several medical companies, surgeons and government agencies to raise awareness about breast cancer in our city. Before that event, I guested in several local television shows to talk about my recent bout with cancer treatment.

The thirty-minute walk culminated in a work out session which was facilitated by the local Department of Health. Once again, I could not help but stand aside in admiration at my co-survivors, my sisters-in-arms, and how they have all risen above their individual situations.

No doubt, the highlight of the day for me was meeting Mary Grace. She is a very young cancer survivor, only 24. As soon as she was inducted as a member of our organization, everyone just trooped to her and gave her a hug. She could not help but shed a few tears. And we could not help but choke back the tears for her, so young and supposedly yet, so full of dreams.

Meeting such a young survivor elicited such a myriad of thoughts and emotions from me...compassion for a very young woman, a teacher at that...love for the older survivors who wordlessly embraced her into their lives...a little fear for my own young daughter...vast thankfulness to God for the ocean of grace that has flowed in my life. I left that encounter a little more enriched in an unexpected way.

Cancer has intruded in all our lives, in the devastating and consuming way that only cancer can. To some degree, we have been robbed of our innocence towards death, but instead of becoming tainted everyone seems to have become more child-like in their faith, because of the experience.

Our message is clear: life can be fruitful, even while fighting cancer.

CRITICIZED FOR CANCER

Today was one frustrating day. Being the wife of a minister, I know that many people expect me to be at the giving end most of the time. I wonder if I was too idealistic to think that being in treatment for cancer excuses me for a while from certain expectations.

Before going into my treatment last February, I had asked certain people to resolve whatever they needed to resolve with me, so that I could then focus on trying to get well. Of course, it helped that my oncologist told me, if there was anytime in my life that I needed to think of myself first, there would be no better time than now.

Who would have thought that some people would think that I was just making my cancer an excuse to be selfish. In truth, all I could think of these past few months has been finding the strength to get up each day, and find every possible means to walk with my family through this ordeal with hope for the future.

It is a very sad and hurtful thing to be criticized because I was trying to give myself time to get well. It is a hateful thing to say about me and my husband at this difficult time and I am quite angry and troubled.

Thankfully, our purpose in life is not determined by what people say about us. Thankfully, I have learned to be angry and productive at the same time.

Thankfully cancer has taught me to value the right things in life.

"Never believe that your fate has been misplaced. It can never disappear because it's everywhere around you. Your family, your friends, you classmates, your life. Live life as if you weren't living for anything. Take your time. Tomorrow's still coming.”

Patrick Mabilog

LiFe accg. tO dragoNflies: the Final ePistle on Misplaced Fate- the Coup de Grace

RESULTS JUST IN

Results have just come in from the pathologist for my third biopsy.

Cyst status: BENIGN

HAPPINESS IN ILLNESS

There is a storm raging outside and finding this interesting article that was published last August 14, 2007 in the New York Times, is like a refreshing drink of hot coffee:

THRIVING AFTER LIFE'S BUM RAP
By JANE E. BRODY

Can getting cancer make you happy? For Betty Rollin, survivor of two breast cancers, there’s no question about it. In her newest book, “Here’s the Bright Side,” Ms. Rollin recounts:

“I woke up one morning and realized I was happy. This struck me as weird. Not that I didn’t have all kinds of things to be happy about — love, work, good health, enough money, the usual happy-making stuff. The weird part is, I realized that the source of my happiness was, of all things, cancer — that cancer had everything to do with how good the good parts of my life were.”

Her realization is hardly unique. I have met and read about countless people who, having faced life-threatening illness, end up happier, better able to appreciate the good things and people in their lives, more willing to take the time to smell the roses.

As Ms. Rollin put it: “It turns out there is often — it seems very often — an astonishingly bright side within darkness. People more than survive bum raps: they often thrive on them; they wind up stronger, livelier, happier; they wake up to new insights and new people and do better with the people around them who are not new. In short, they often wind up ahead.”

This is not to suggest that battling cancer is pleasurable. Frustration, anger and grief are natural reactions. Cancer forces people to put their lives on hold. It can cause considerable physical and emotional pain and lasting disfigurement. It may even end in death.

But for many people who make it through, and even for some who do not, the experience gives them a new perspective on life and the people in it. It is as if their antennas become more finely tuned by having faced a mortal threat.

As a woman with incurable ovarian cancer recounted this spring in The New York Times: “I treat every day as an adventure, and I refuse to let anything make me sad, angry or worried. I live for the day, which is something I never did before. Believe it or not, I’m happier now than I was before I was diagnosed.”

Sometimes such changes happen to those who live through the cancer experiences of others. My mother died at age 49 of ovarian cancer, and I went off to college thinking that every moment was precious, to be used productively both for personal betterment and for what I could offer to the world. At 18 I wrote a speech on preparing one’s own epitaph — about being able to say that however long your life, you lived it fully and made it count for something meaningful.

Now, 48 years later, as people I know succumb to intractable illness or sudden death, I am even more attuned to the need to savor every moment and do whatever I can to make the world a better place and nurture relationships with friends and family.

Michael Feuerstein, a clinical psychologist and author with Patricia Findley of “The Cancer Survivor’s Guide,” was 52 when he was told he had an inoperable brain tumor and was given a year to live. But Dr. Feuerstein didn’t die — he survived extensive debilitating treatment and gained a new outlook.

He wrote: “I now realize that I am fortunate. Now, after the cancer, I find I can more easily put life in perspective. I re-evaluated my workload, opting to spend more time at home. I take more time for what matters to me most: my wife and my children and grandchild. I also allocate time to better understand cancer survivorship from a scientific point of view, so I can help others in my situation translate this work into useful answers to the question, ‘now what?’ I am optimistic about the future and excited to leave my unique mark on the world.”

A SECOND LIFE

When it comes to leaving a mark on the world, Lance Armstrong takes first prize. After surviving treatment for testicular cancer that had spread to his lungs and brain, Mr. Armstrong went on to win the Tour de France a record seven consecutive times.

“There are two Lance Armstrongs, precancer and post,” he recounted in his 2001 memoir, “It’s Not About the Bike: My Journey Back To Life.” “In a way, the old me did die, and I was given a second life.” He created a foundation to inspire and empower people affected by cancer, helping them live life on their own terms.

“Cancer was the best thing that ever happened to me,” he said. “I don’t know why I got the illness, but it did wonders for me, and I wouldn’t want to walk away from it.”

Likewise, Fran Lenzo wrote in the magazine Coping: “Breast cancer has given me a new life. Breast cancer was something I needed to experience to open my eyes to the joy of living. I now see more of the world than I was choosing to see before I had cancer. The things that once seemed so important, like keeping a clean home, are less important. My priorities now are to enjoy everything around me to the utmost. Breast cancer leaves me no time for personality conflicts, arguments, debates or controversy. Breast cancer has taught me to love in the purest sense.”

FINDING HAPPINESS

There’s no question that cancer, whether curable or ultimately fatal, changes lives. It forces some people to give up careers and may jeopardize their ability to earn a living. It leaves some people disabled and unable to pursue athletic or other ambitions requiring physical prowess. It leaves some people unable to bear or father children. Yet, time after time, even people who have lost so much find new and often better sources of fulfillment.

Recurring cancer and the extensive treatment it required forced Dr. Wendy Schlessel Harpham of Dallas to give up her beloved medical practice. So she turned her sights to writing, producing book after book that can help people with cancer achieve the best that medicine and life can offer them.

Dr. Harpham is a 16-year survivor of recurrent chronic lymphoma. In her latest book, “Happiness in a Storm: Facing Illness and Embracing Life as a Healthy Survivor,” she states: “Without a doubt, illness is bad, yet survivorship — from the time of diagnosis and for the balance of life — can include times of great joy among the hardships. You can find happiness. Chances are the opportunities for happiness are right in front of you.”

She suggests creating a “personal happiness list” to help you remember favorite pastimes and reintroduce former delights into your life. Or perhaps you might want to explore activities that in your precancer life, you thought you had no time for, like studying a foreign language, traveling for pleasure or spending more time with friends.

“You might need to explore different ways of seeing yourself and the world around you,” Dr. Harpham writes. “In doing so, you discover new types of happiness waiting to be tapped, such as the happiness of sharing invigorating ideas and nascent hopes with new friends, or the happiness of knowing love in a whole new way.

“Happiness in a storm,” she concludes, “is never about enjoying your illness but embracing your life within the limits of your illness, and figuring out how to feel happy whenever possible.”

FLOODS, RAIN AND SURGERY

Amidst the constant rains and flooding in our city, I had my minor surgery on Wednesday, to remove the new lump that I just discovered on my remaining breast just this last Monday. The whole procedure took about two hours. I just had it done in my doctor's clinic, with local anesthesia. This was a personal request from me as I have grown quite tired of the usual hospital protocol of having to go through the Emergency Room and about a dozen inquiring residents who all have the same set of questions to ask.

The interrogation alone can be trying, to say the least.

My surgeon, Dr. Emil Salcedo just talked me through the operation, with a myriad of topics from mountain bikes, to siopao, to church politics. I was trying not to laugh too hard at his usual and somewhat satirical take on such things. I tried my best not to look at the incision he was working on, just a few inches below my chin, but the lure of the grotesque was just too much. I would sneak a look once in a while, but not too long as I always turn queasy at the sight of blood.

Every time I would hear the snip of the scissors, I would recite the Panatang Makabayan in my head, to distract myself from the morbidity of its implications.

By the time I knew it, Emil was stitching me up. I went my way to the mall with my daughter who needed a new pair of shoes. After that we proceeded to the prayer meeting to kick off our church anniversary this year.

A half-centimeter lump was removed, with another half-centimeter of surrounding tissue all around, which I immediately submitted to the pathologist for biopsy. I will get the results next week.

ONE DAY AT A TIME

Once there was a man who would go to the ocean to do his writing. He had a habit of walking on the beach before he began his work.

One day, as he was walking along the shore, he looked down the beach and saw a human figure moving like a dancer. He smiled to himself at the thought of someone who would dance to the day, and so, he walked faster to catch up.

As he got closer, he noticed that the figure was that of a young man, and that what he was doing was not dancing at all. The young man was reaching down to the shore, picking up small objects, and throwing them into the ocean.

He came closer still and called out "Good morning! May I ask what it is that you are doing?"The young man paused, looked up, and replied "Throwing starfish into the ocean."

"I must ask, then, why are you throwing starfish into the ocean?" asked the somewhat startled wise man.

To this, the young man replied, "The sun is up and the tide is going out. If I don't throw them in, they'll die."

Upon hearing this, the wise man commented, "But, young man, do you not realize that there are miles and miles of beach and there are starfish all along every mile? You can't possibly make a difference!"

At this, the young man bent down, picked up yet another starfish, and threw it into the ocean. As it met the water, he said, "It made a difference for that one."

...

Today, I had another visit with my good doctor. I had just gone through a series of laboratory tests last week and all of them came up clear except for one. My breast ultrasound showed that I have a new lump on my other breast.

I was just trying to explain to a dear friend my sense of humor amidst this apparently daunting task of conquering cancer. Because she always knew me as one who was fretful and a perfectionist, the carefree attitude and positive outlook that I display these days are, for her, out of character. Having just dealt with the other lump I found a few weeks ago, she could not help but wonder if this would ever end…the searching, the finding, the removing of every little lump that grows in my body. How could I find happiness amidst all these, she asked.

I remember once, when Oprah Winfrey was asked how she runs five miles a day, she said, "I recommit to it every day of my life."

I think happiness is like that.

Every day we have to renew our commitment to assertively pursue happiness. It won’t just come to us. We have to make it happen, regardless of whether one is certain of a long life ahead or not. It is a choice we make to see the beauty of the things around us or focus on the little missing details, to run after the grandoise dreams or be happy with each moment with our loved ones.

It's a decision we need to make every single day.

Ironically, I can say that in between my doctor's visits and treatments, I have found my true pleasures. Now, everyday that comes is a new day to worship God..lavish love on my family...show kindness to whom I meet...find comfort in my husband's warm hand...play with the little kids from Nursery class...laugh at my friends' funny stories...savor that banana que I bought from the corner...spend that hard-earned peso shopping with Angela in SM City.

I have learned to find joy and own it as mine.

Tomorrow morning, I will go to the hospital for about an hour to undergo another surgery. But after that I will have the rest of the day to embrace laughter and hope again.

Much like the starfish thrower, I am doing it one at a time and that is how I think life should be lived, after all. One day at a time.

Until the days turn to weeks, the weeks to months, the months to many years.

DISTRESS AND SURVIVAL

Below is an article that I found on emotional wellness and cancer. It has offered me empowerment as I proceed with my journey.

MedWire News: Breast cancer patients with low levels of distress survive longer and have lower levels of disease recurrence than those with high levels of distress, study findings show.

Mogens Groenvold (The Department of Palliative Medicine, Bispebjerg Hospital, Copenhagen, Denmark) and colleagues report that emotional function and fatigue are significant independent predictors of recurrence free and overall survival, after accounting for biological variables such as menopausal status, estrogen receptor status, tumor biology, lymph node status, and adjuvant therapy use.

The researchers analyzed data from 1588 breast cancer patients who filled out the EORTC (European Organisation for Research and Treatment of Cancer) QLQ-C30 quality of life questionnaire 2 months after their primary operation.

They measured psychological distress using the emotional functioning and fatigue items, with severity rated on a score of 0-100, where 100 shows highest level of functioning.

Information on clinical and pathological variables including time to recurrence and survival time was obtained from the Danish Breast Cancer Cooperative Group register. Patients were followed-up until March 2005, with a median follow-up time of 12.9 years.

An emotional function score of 83-100 was associated with a relative risk of 0.80 for recurrence-free survival and 0.81 for overall survival, compared with an emotional function score of 0-75. Meanwhile, a fatigue score of 33-100 was associated with a relative risk of 1.32 for recurrence-free survival and 1.23 for overall survival, compared with a fatigue score of 0-22.

Groenvold and colleagues comment in the journal Breast Cancer Research and Treatment: "The finding that both fatigue and psychological distress were associated with the risk of breast cancer recurrence and death is intriguing and raises conceptual and methodological questions."

The researchers propose two possible interpretations. Firstly, patients who do not experience psychological distress maintain a strong immune system that subsequently leads to better cancer resistance, they suggest. This they refer to as the "mind-body model." Alternatively, a lack of psychological distress may reflect mental as well as physical robustness. This they refer to as the "robustness model."

Irrespective of the mechanism underlying the negative effect of distress on breast cancer outcome, the researchers state that effective interventions against psychological distress and/or fatigue should be "available for all breast cancer patients to improve their quality of life as an end in itself."

SOURCE: www.breastcancersource.com

BOUNCING BACK

After a series of consultations with my doctors, we have all agreed that I will wait a little longer and observe the lump I recently found on my mastectomy site. It is too soon after radiation treatment to go under the knife. The risk of the wound not healing well is too great. Thus, I have no choice but to wait out the recommended four more weeks and just observe the little nuisance closely.

In the meantime, I just came across an article about resilience. It defines people with resilience as those who harness inner strengths and rebound more quickly from a setback or challenge. These are the people who have the ability to say to themselves, "OK, this bad thing happened, and I can either dwell on it or I can learn from it."

I have decided that this setback will not hinder me from believing that I am already healed. It will not keep me from declaring God’s goodness in my life. It will not hold me back from celebrating life with zeal and hope.

If I overcame a lump before, I can overcome another one again.